I bear a new name

Today was busy. Jintian shi hen mang le. Morning came at 5 am again, and I used my time to play comuter games and study study study. I learned many new words like wrist watch and silent, but not the only words that matter "Shut down all the garbage smashers on the detention level!".

Once again the food was copious and at times delicous and at other, sadder times, rife with meats and kinda gross. Every meal except breakfast, though it's served then as well I just choose to drink juice instead, I consume mass quantities of Xue Bi, or green snow. Yes, I have already made the yellow snow joke. Twice.

Today was the welcoming ceremony. We listened to the stories about what's going going on around around around the CUEB campus. Traps mostly, sometimes another Cuebnaut. The sad thing is when we finally escape the Cueb we'll be subjected to two simple questions, and if I fail I am burnt alive. I was given the obligation of introducing myself to the directors of the program. I made several mistakes and explained I had no chinese name, though my honorable surname was Searles.

Then we had some important buisness to attend to, I had my picture taken for this important file. Passport picture in us: 2 pictures for 15-25+ dollars, Passport picture in china: 8 pictures for 3 dollars. It was pretty sweet, best of all; no exploited factory workers. Yet. We're negotiating, I'm sure we can degrade some people by making them crawl on thier knees to bring you the photos when they are finished.

Then more study and webcam chating. Followed by a big important dinner with
the directors. I sat with them at thier table along with all the faculty. I was the only non-native there besides Andy Buchman. It was ..... demanding. There are many different manner expectations to be polite. I had to learn these as we went, making various mistakes along the way. Firstly, you have to let the staff basically de-napkin wrap your silverware and pour your drink. Then you can't eat until the head director takes his first bite and toasts the program.

Through the long dinner I found out from Li Lao Shi that he had devolped a Zhong Guo Ming Zi name for me; Zhou Mo. Mo, which is my given name and akin to Joel or Jilly, means on it's own: silent (I was quiet at dinner, and in general around Li Lao Shi because he uses unique sentence composition that makes it hard for me to understand him, despite knowing a majority of the words he uses). However when combined with my Surname Zhou, an attempt to capture Joel, it takes on a new meaning, which is Humorous.

So I apparently am one of two extremes, saying nothing or saying jokes. Which has numerous implications that I likes. Also, as an added bonus Zhou Mo is also how you say the weekend, a time period that suits me best. Sooooo, I accepted. So long Han So Lo. So long Qu Ba Ke. So long Da Shang Gao. So long Si. (Another one that he offered, I got to choose, was basically "Sharp Joe" which has it's own cool. But I couldn't pass up the idea of being either silent or hilarious.

So now you know what to call me. Zhou Xian Sheng if you respect me, or Mo if we are friends. So everybody will have to use niether.

My Campus is pretty cool

The above is this sweet park on campus that I hung out in today. It also has a playground of wierd play ground equipment, ones that I wish I had when I was kid. The campus pretty close to other imporant buildings to like a hospital and some banks, so I'm pretty much set to steal and heal.

There's a temple called Dagobah, I am trying to get there. I hear there's a jedi master who lives there, but I am probably going to just find some wierd little goofy dude.

More photos and updates as they arrive.

It's a good thing I memorised the blogger interface

Because it's now entirely in Chinese. So I am guessing where like half the functions I wanted to carry out are now.

The food here is a little nicer, but the town's quiet because it's golden week, which is like spring break. Except it celebrates poltical reform as well.

Vonnetgut feigned death to become a flight attendant

And man did he serve me a breakfast of champions! While on the flight we were given meal service twice along with little tidbits through out the 14 hours. Each time there was always two options; meat or not, both came complete with whackyness. I ordered rice rather than beef, and was treated to a seaweed soup, or as I call it “Hot Ocean Water”. Then came a roll filled with teeny tiny roll filled with a meat paste (unbeknownst to me), which resembled sloppy joe, if sloppy joe had watched Biodome and followed in a failed baldwin’s footsteps. After naptime the lights came back on and we were treated to what I can only guess was breakfast. It was our choice Chicken or Ravilolli. Well, I didn’t want to contribute to their chicken sales so I chose Raviolli and am glad I did, as it was freakin hilarious. I’ve often wondered how far science would push the combinations of food groups, I had heard about genetically modified rice that was like eating a bowl of carrots at the same time as your rice, but never in my wildest dreams could I have forseen this. My raviolli was more or less a mash of every dish I was expected to consume, filled with noodles and cheese and peas and corn and carrots and ingredients unidentifiable. Let’s see if all of China can top Airline food.

Oh and I recommend you fly with Korean Airlines solely for the fasion, all the attendants wear these whacky neck ribbons that tied off to the side. I guess the old trend of sideways baseball cap has gone internatonal and mutated to ribbons or they all got dressed in a really strong wind.

The flight was hugely long, but we had these digital displays that had over 30 movies, all released about a year ago. So I watched like 5 different movies, but for however clever I thought I was the person in front and to the left of me really had it together, they just watched “Night in the museum” over and over. It was priceless.

My room’s really average, but China’s got a hilarous mismatch of electrical sockets, they basically try to make use of three different outlet types all in one room. So somethings I have need a configuration that only occurs once in the room. I also have a series of adaptors so I go through rediculous lengths to get electricty to something.

Who is Joel anyway?

Joel Searles wears many hats. He also inccidently wears a variety of coats, shirts, two varieties of shoes and underpants from time to time.
Joel bears many names. In Erador they call him the Mithrandir, in Washington he is Jilly Jonka, in Nevis he is Elrond Hubbard the Red Handed, and in China, when someone asks him his name (or his honorable surname, as the custom is) he merely (and inappropriately) replies, "My name is Han Solo, and Han Solo means ME!!!!"

He is feared and avoided, and rightly so.

His interests are few; videogames, boardgames, and other typical cool guy stuff.

His occupation is even fewer; phonathon supervisor.

His friends and familly, least of all; gathered 'round to see him off at Docking bay 94. They held a medal ceremony where everybody filled the room on the sides, and a trumpetous fanfare filled the air. As Jilly strode down the aisle a nameless, soon to be dead, wookie cried out "Why didn't I get a medal when I went to france? I was gone longer!" and this terse statement of kashyykese sounded but a roar to everyone else. So, they did what all humans do when facing inarticulate Wookies, they turned slightly. Then Brittany placed an albatross medal around Joel's neck as a very tiny robotic mail box shook side to side and shone brightly.

Everyone smiled, for Joel had departed!

Intro

Welcome and hello! You just read your first sentence of Joel's blog-about-town blogger in which I will weblog my adventures throughout China. You just read the second sentence, I think it is also dawning on you that you've regreted coming here already, but if you're anything like me you've already committed and are doomed to read onward, deeper still into the insanity of me in another country.

My classes are done and all the awaits is packing, saying and eating my goodbyes, and then a 12 hour sojourn across the sky, via the millenium falcon. I'm getting my game face on by preparring a list of lies I intend to tell Chinese people as well as to dispell some of the myths thier students have no doubt brought to our shores through like-minded adventures.

First Objective: Repair Communism.
Second Objective: Toobin'.