I recently experienced the hellish insanity of Beijing's markets. Travelling around is confusing enough, I've been mislead dozens of times and made numerous mistakes in solo navigation,
but once you get to a place it's even more crazy.
You've passed the test of humility, in which only the pentient man may pass, and you kneel to the throng of buses, trucks, cars, motorcycles, motorbikes, trikes, and bikes.
You also passed the test of faith, where you must leap from the lion's subway system into a train you must have faith is taking you towards your intended destination.
The last test is by far the most harrowing; surving the horrors of the sales ladies. "Hey Mister, you buy wallet?" rings in your ears as you navigate narrow alleys lined with boothes. From Gameboy games to swords, everything is explosively marketed it at you. Your only defense is to age rapidly until you fall gray headed and dead.
In the end I got the gifts I wanted for Britty and Laurie and I had a new found hatred for baby-equiped beggars.
I returned two days later to gather the preparred items and now was ready to feast on cream puffs and victory.
Sights seen: Great Wall, Forbidden City, Tianamen Square, Temple of Heaven, China Museum of Art, A real live Chinese person's house/
Mission Status: Incomplete
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3 comments:
You should really think about visiting a real dead Chinese person's house. But, in order to visit such a place, you'd have to make sure all of your clothes are FRESHLY LAUNDERED. Typically, in China, someone reaching your LEVEL OF STINK would be submitted to the punishment of being lightly beaten by PERTERBED PANDAS wielding eucalyptus poles. But really, you should think about TAKING A BUBBLE BATH. Seriously, if your trip should change you in only one way, it should be for you to reevaluate your past ideas of HYGENE.
I hear that the Chinese think that corn is only fit for livestock. Have you eaten any corn while you've been in China? Because if you have, you might be a pig!
You should buy some bootlegged movies, I’ve always wanted to Corky Romano with Chinese subtitles. Or, the Great Panda Adventure. I guess you’re already on that, so you should just film yourself. Eat some panda for me.
And don’t forget to…USE DEODERANT!
Perhaps you should make yourself a double-sign, connected by strings, to hang over your shoulders to use whne you visit the market place. Use the Chinese letters or logograms – whatever their writing characters are called - that read “Wo bu yao!” Very thoughtful of you to obtain gifts for your sister and Brit, but you’d be smart to remember solo mama as well.
Be well, and may the farce be with you...
Today in class some kid named Nic did a power point presentation about eco-cities in China.
Are there such things as eco-cities in China?
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