Homeward Bound: the incredibly long journey

Micheal J Fox and I have a date with the green destiny sword. I rounded up gifts and packed my bags, now to settle in for a long winters flight.

Good news China, bad news america, Jilly's coming home. Zai Jian Mr. Weekend, Hello Commodore Jonka!

Yet somehow I'm also sad?

Mai Dong Xi should be my new name, all I do is go shopping!

I went to this totally awesome alley way market place today, just like the old days and ways of China when the currency was imperial and China was the center of the world. If ever there were a place for Ivan Zavortink it was there. Within 15 feet I could eat fried scorpions, buy a urinating action figure, see live "Beijing crosstalk" which is somewhere between abbot & costello and that episode of smartguy were TJ joins the arguement tv show, and of course my favorite, play a videogame about trapping and skinning dinosaurs before thier friends kill you, while also fighting off rival trappers. Yeah, it's pretty much the greatest place on earth.

There was much more; a guy would make candy action figures while you watched, mountains of every imaginable product for sale, beggars, musicians, resteraunteurs, car dealerships, arcades, a DENTIST, even a place advertising for "Yong Girls".

I also had a hilarious breech of bargaining protocol, normally you ask the price and ask for one quarter that price, untill it works out to the middle. In this case, I stated outright what I would pay and I refused until I got it exactly - 2 bucks. It was pretty gratifying to not budge and still get what you want.

So another gift in the old completed bin. I just saw the coolest thing in Beijing and I feel pretty good about that.

Shopping for DANGER!

I recently experienced the hellish insanity of Beijing's markets. Travelling around is confusing enough, I've been mislead dozens of times and made numerous mistakes in solo navigation,
but once you get to a place it's even more crazy.

You've passed the test of humility, in which only the pentient man may pass, and you kneel to the throng of buses, trucks, cars, motorcycles, motorbikes, trikes, and bikes.

You also passed the test of faith, where you must leap from the lion's subway system into a train you must have faith is taking you towards your intended destination.

The last test is by far the most harrowing; surving the horrors of the sales ladies. "Hey Mister, you buy wallet?" rings in your ears as you navigate narrow alleys lined with boothes. From Gameboy games to swords, everything is explosively marketed it at you. Your only defense is to age rapidly until you fall gray headed and dead.

In the end I got the gifts I wanted for Britty and Laurie and I had a new found hatred for baby-equiped beggars.

I returned two days later to gather the preparred items and now was ready to feast on cream puffs and victory.

Sights seen: Great Wall, Forbidden City, Tianamen Square, Temple of Heaven, China Museum of Art, A real live Chinese person's house/

Mission Status: Incomplete

Sometimes my arms bend backwards and there is music in the air

My access to Myspace and my blog is tenuous. Sometimes unreachable, other times they are able to be read. Oh, what a delightful wonderland I live in.

Well, I got to hang out with a host family. i mostly spent time with thier son. Age 18 "Jason" had a lot going on; the ride to the house was filled with his mother talking about the difficulty of applications to colleges in Hong Kong, he shared his dreams of globe trotting the world after making a small fortune in economics over a game something simmilar to hackysack, and later the family and I discussed college examinations in China (they have a special holiday where everyone takes their tests at once) versus examinations in U.S.

Also covered were; race in china, video games, anime, popular brand names, attitudes towards westerners, sports, dialects of china, rapid modernization and astrology. The answer to all of them was yes.

While visiting I got to help make dinner, tour thier 24th floor apartment, listen to music and drink massive amounts of tea.

When it came time to go they took many pictures with me. It was needless to say a sad parting.

Sorry about the delay

There was something wierd about the internet and for some reason I couldn't get on to update. So let's see; I went to the Great Wall (totally undeserving of the name) more like the FREAKING AMAZING WALL. Then I went to stay with a Chinese family for a while. That was pretty cool.

I've met a few cool folks. Talked a few a cool things. And always is there the unending pressence of the chinese language.

Happy mothers day everyone!

The legend of Kung Fu

Hello loyal fanbase! China goes well, I'll soon have it shaped up and running like Switzerland in no time. But that's another monologue unto itself, let me stay focused on the imporant things! Last night I saw an intense show about kung fu where dudes broke stuff with thier head throughout a quasi-narrative about a boy who forgot the first rule of kung fu (not to talk about kung fu). There was lots of jumping and kicking and a guy tried to fight like a scorpion and came off being utterly useless. There were other elements to, like balacing on spear blades, and swinging on silks over a smoke room, and this one time when it was "night" and all these tiny lights in the roof turned on.

Then it ended with a hilarious twist.

Crossing Lightsabers in the Imperial City

Yesterday I traveled to the Imperial city, Coruscant, to seek a council with Emperor Palpatine. The stormtroopers were out in force, in thier green armor. We walked around Tianmen Square taking pictures of things and enjoyed it's massivley open vistas. I examined a memorial to the heroes of the revolution and was swarmed by merchants all selling Mao watches, kites, and post cards. I don't think I'll ever need to say "Wo bu yao" so often again in my life.

We then walked over to the Forbiden City and entered through the gate of 9 brass studs. Explored the various rooms, battled with light sabers and left. There's a garden, and throne room and so forth.